who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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