I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Sorry about my life...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
