yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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