I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
