Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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