I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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