8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
