I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
