if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
