that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
