That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I would fuck him just for his dog
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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