'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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