i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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