I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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