and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize