Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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