Walk of Shame. In a state park.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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