I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
