she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
