just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
