a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
