The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Oh god it's open bar.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
