Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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