We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
