Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
