Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
