somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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