listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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