P.S. I can't hear my feet
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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