Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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