I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
