that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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