It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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