he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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