So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
