NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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