Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
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