have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
