Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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