In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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