Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
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