You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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