it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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