Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
even my farts smell like vagina
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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