What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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