walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
