We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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