so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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