But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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