your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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