Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
