Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
