last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it because I queefed?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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