So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
