Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
