Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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