Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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