When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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