butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
