dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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