You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging