im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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