ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
