Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Randomize
