I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
