God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
When are your genitals available?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
