I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
